Praise the Lord :)

Here's to a new beginning.

Rip Pauley

A tribute to Pauley Fuemana, part of the band OMC which I only recently found out stood for Otara Millionaires Club.

Sad but true, the lad was only 40.

Just found out on the Herald that he was declared bankrupt in 2006. Anyways, the lad will be missed by alot of people, seemed very down to earth.

A couple of photos courtesy of the NZ Herald.







Last but not least, enjoy the classic. He did release another single with Lucy Lawless, quite low key but still enjoyable, here.

Manchester City

This post is courtesy of Wikipedia, and sure had me laughing out loud! It was too good Not to post!

It is about Manchester City's Chairman, Garry Cook. Recently he had said prior to the 2nd leg of the Carling Cup being played, Manchester City were leading 2-1 against Manchester United that it was a CERTAINTY that City would win and go to the final. Surprise surprise United beat them 3-1 in the 2nd leg to win 4-3 overall! There are quite a few more stories that goes to his capacity for telling porkies but hey what's below was good enough.

Enjoy

Career

Cook worked at sports were giants Nike for 12 years, working his way up to head of the Nike project "Brand Opportunism", before leaving Nike in June 2008 to take over as CEO of Manchester City. Although he’d been a resident of the USA since 1985, and spent four years in Amsterdam, Garry currently lives in a f*****g dreamworld. He’s an experienced liar, with experience at covering up child slavery at Nike, making him ideal for a deluded Manchester City.

Nike

Cook says he moved to the U.S in 1996 and started working for Nike eleven years earlier in 1985, presumably using a DeLorean DMC-12 travelling at 88 miles per hour. He would spend 12 years at Nike where he would become president of the very successful Brand Jordan, Cook says that he worked very closely with basketball superstar Michael Jordan while working at Nike. But then, he also told everyone that his dad is Thor, Norse god of thunder.

Manchester City

This attracted the interest of former Manchester City owner and civil rights campaigner Thaksin Shinawatra, who contacted Cook about becoming CEO of the club after the departure of Alistair Campbell, who was sacked for not telling enough lies. Cook accepted the offer and was appointed CEO of the club in May 2008.

One of Cook's first tasks with his new club was to find a new manager after Sven Goran-Eriksson had been dismissed; he targeted Herbert Chapman of 1930's Arsenal. After finding out that he'd been dead for 74 years, he reluctantly settled on Mark Hughes of Blackburn Rovers. On 4 June 2008, Hughes signed a three-thousand year deal with the club, the fool.^[1] On the day Hughes was unveiled to the media, Cook couldn't hide his delight, stating, "I am delighted to welcome Mark on board. In our view he is the brightest young manager in the game and he was our number one target for the manager's job. Honest."

2008/09 Season

Cook's new task was player recruitment,^[2] and he did deals for Tal Ben-Haim, Jo, Vincent Kompany, Pablo Zabaleta and Shaun Wright-Phillips but failed in a bid for Roy Race, who doesn't actually exist.

However, this was all overshadowed when on 1 September, City were taken over by the Abu Dhabi United Group; within a few hours of news of the takeover Cook completed the transfer of Brazil international Robinho to the club from Real Madrid for a British transfer record of £32.5 million. Cook suggested that the signing ceremony was watched by 10 billion people. Critics pointed out that this figure is some 3.5 billion more people than actually exist, but Cook simply stated that it reflected the magnitude of the news.

After the arrival of the new Abu Dhabi based owners many thought that they would opt for their own CEO but they decided to keep Cook on after being impressed by his vision for the club, the fools. They did, however, appoint a new chairman, Sheikh Yabhouti, who replaced the outgoing Thaksin Shinawatra.

After the 2009 January transfer window opened Cook sealed deals for Wayne Bridge, Craig Bellamy, Shay Given and Nigel de Jong. However, he failed in a world record bid to bring Pele to the club, blaming the breakdown in negotiations on Santos, stating, "If you want my personal opinion they bottled it, He clearly was for sale but we never got to meet with the player, the behaviour of Santos got in the way." Santos replied by pointing out that Pele retired from football more than thiry years ago.

Cook also did much work away from transfers introducing the "I'm From Manchester, Honest" campaign where supporters of the club write in their opinions of why Stockport is actually in Manchester & that they shouldn't go to watch County instead, these have then been placed around the interior of the stadium. Many fans have contributed to this including the likes of Ricky Hatton.

2009/10 Season

After City finished 10th in Cook's first season with the club, Garry suggested that they actually finished 0th, because they're morally better than everyone else.

He went about bringing in further targets of Mark Hughes. In the summer of 2009 Cook brought in Gareth Barry, Roque Santa Cruz, Stuart Taylor, Carlos Tevez, Emmanuel Adebayor, Kolo Toure, [[Joleon Lescott],] Dougie from McFly and Sylvinho to the club. During this period Cook also built his own team of complete charlatans around him with Brian Marwood joining the club amongst others as part of Cooks team.

Along with Khaldoon Al Mubarak, Cook has seen the complete overhaul of the club's training base Carrington and scheduled a 2009 summer tour of the Moon where the squad met Marvin the Martian and played the Arctic Monkeys in the Vodacom Challenge.

He made a gaffe by welcoming Uwe Rosler to the Manchester United Hall of Fame instead of the Manchester City Hall of Fame and was booed by Manchester City fans, although that didn't actually happen because City fans are the most loyal in the world and never boo. He wrote apology letters to 70,000,000,000,000 Manchester City supporters clubs.

On 19th December 2009, Mark Hughes was relieved of his duties as City's manager after just 200 untruths in twelve games, about half the required amount. It is understood that Cook and Marwood played a large part in convincing chairman Al-Mubarak that Hughes wasn't the man to take City forward based on what Cook managed to achieve on Championship Manager 01/02; former Inter Milan manager Roberto Mancini was appointed as his replacement, the fool.

Personal life

Cook is married tp Girls Aloud and is a keen player of Golf amongst where he regularly competes against Adolf Hitler, Bananaman and Richard Blackwood. Garry invented the colour yellow.

References

1. ^ McNulty, Phil (4 June 2008). "Hughes becomes Man City manager". BBC Sport. http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/teams/m/man_city/7431155.stm. Retrieved 4 June 2008.
2. ^ Oscroft, Tim (4 June 2008). "Manchester City appoint Mark Hughes". www.mcfc.co.uk. http://www.mcfc.co.uk/default.sps?pagegid={DBD12D53-8346-431D-A04F-5D0F8664DE80}&newsid=6610904. Retrieved 4 June 2008.

Retrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garry_Cook_(CEO)"

Categories: Living people | English businesspeople | People from Birmingham, England | Manchester City F.C. directors and chairmen | THIS MAN IS A COMPLETE AND UTTER IDIOT, WHY OH WY GOD DO YOU LET HIM EXIST YET ALLOW BRITTANY MURPHY TO DIE, IT'S JUST NOT FAIR

Shuffle Up & Deal!

I just took part in a 10 player satelite event at Uncle's and lo and behold I actually won it! Now I've gotten a seat into the Mega Satelite which would have cost $125, for free. Unfortunately I was playing with the missus and had the bad luck of knocking her out. She played really well though, ended up third, but that is poker.

For me I had some really really good hands. One hand in particular I was dealt K K, and another chap who was with a big stack raised, I re-raised and he shoved all in. I Insta (this is a new word i think, or it could be short for instant hehe) called it, and he showed A Q. Thankfully my Kings held up and it was all downhill from there.

I guess it hasn't really sunk in yet, but I sure had fun and hope to get a seat at the main event... fingers n toes crossed! =)

Had a few callbacks for some jobs today as well, so shall see where that goes in time.

Its 5am and probably time for bed, for some reason I really can't sleep early, which will need to change once that primo job comes along... any day now.. :)

Enjoy the weekend and remember TGIF! =)

The Bigger Picture

Happy New Year to All!

Hope that everyone had a nice Christmas and New Year's. I had my cigar and watched the fireworks with my Whisky in the other hand. Bliss :)

Sad to say that things back home have turned a little crap lately, with the attacks on the churches. All over the word Allah. Long story, I think the link I have attached shows roughly both sides of the arguments, though you can't really say the other side had much of an argument... just 'confusion'. Sad but true.

All this when I have been contemplating going back to Malaysia... possibly for good. Anyhoo, food for thought i guess.

The link to youtube, here

'enjoy' the link. It had me going "WTF" a few times indeed!

Would you?

Something interesting happened recently. A friend gave me a gift. Turns out it was cash. It was a substantial amount, considering I wasn't expecting it at all. Common courtesy would be to turn it down. But it was insisted upon that I take it. Regardless, for me I would rather someone take me out to dinner than give me cash as a token of gratitude. Don't get me wrong I sure do appreciate it, but in this day and age save the cash especially in a recession :)

On a side note, Uncle Sky has been good to me lately so no complaints there. Also started an excel spreadsheet to monitor my 'ups and downs', You'l be pleased to know I am up up up! hehe.

Anyhoo, to those that don't know, not too long ago I decided to call it quits at the current dependable job. Decided that it was time for change, and boy was it! Only problem is that unemployment is now at 6.5%, not great trust me. So I have been job hunting with some moderate success but nothing much to note. Regardless, shall persevere and move on. So heres hoping that with the amount of applications I sent recently (double figures, but it is to be expected, the job market is a toughie at the mo) that some good news filters down.

What else... OH yeah... congrats to the All Whites... in the World Cup yo!! Represent! That will surely make watching the World Cup even more exciting. Here's hoping that the Kiwi's can get some goals... and who knows maybe even a point!!!

More good news, the Premier League resumes this weekend! Alle-freaking-Luia! Can't say United have been playing the free flowing football as I'm used to but, it will take time. Replacing Ronaldo and Twatface(tevez) will take time, though any team would miss ronaldo, the other twat not so.. he can rot in Citeh for all I care :)

Last but not least, shout out to my homie Chef Gjin, and she's got a new blog.... yay! Kudos too, enjoy reading it madamouselle. Perhaps when we catch up next... u can impart some much needed cooking knowledge on the Takeout King =)

Cheerio.. till the next update... who knows when that will be... :)

Kids these days...

The following questions were set in last year's NCEA level 1 examinations.

These are genuine answers from 16 year old pupils who all live in one of our major NZ cities

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow

Q. How are the main parts of the body categorised (eg the abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O and U

Q What is the fibula
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure
A. A Roman Emperor

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning

A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face

Q What does the word 'benign' mean
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight

Q What is a turbine
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head